yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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