I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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