i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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