you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
