dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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