Ambien. No doubt about it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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