like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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