somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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