he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
