I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
