I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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