Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
