are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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