Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
