I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
