You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
