after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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