im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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