Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize