i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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