Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
