Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
