Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
