I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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