Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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