Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
