I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
