you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future