He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
