Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
