i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize