I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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