i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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