omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize