Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
