You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
