You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
3 2 1 whiskey
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
