There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
