Did you just see the Batmobile???
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
