I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Randomize
