at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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