he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
