but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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