Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
