It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
