Sponge bath it is.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
