I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
