your room smells of hookers.
And success
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
