we're chasing vodka with high fives
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
false alarm, still single
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
