toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
