If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
