its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
