Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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