around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I had to cum in my sink.
God, I missed his penis.
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