u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
