I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize