all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
