ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
