doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
