Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
