You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
