So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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