your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
