i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
