At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
