We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
your like the ambassador to my penis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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