Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I look better un-naked...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
