its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
