i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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