loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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