Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
